Here and Now

They were both sat on opposite ends of the bed with their backs to one another. The only source of lighting was the lamp on the side table. The only sound that could be heard were her sniffles. After what felt like the millionth argument, they were finally at their breaking points. It was time to either move on or move past their issues.

His heart broke when he heard her breathing become hitched and her release a sound like she was gasping for air. It killed him knowing that he had done that to her. He took her breathe away, and not in the way in which the fairy tales had so wonderfully described. He had broke her.

She heard him sigh heavily as she tried to control her breathing. She had never felt a pain like this. She had never loved this hard. She had finally run out of words for him. She was speechless. It felt like the tighter she held onto him, the harder he pushed her away.

She finally got the courage to stand... to walk away. When he felt her get up, he stood and looked at her. They stared at each other for what felt like an eternity. Tears continuously fell from her eyes but she couldn't look away. One way or another, he would know exactly what she was feeling. He, on the other hand, couldn't handle it. He looked away and she took this as a sign of him throwing in the towel.

She slowly walked to the closet and pulled a duffle bag from the top shelf. He didn't stop her. He sat silently on the bed, listening to her movements. Trying to forget each one of her actions as they presented themselves. She walked slowly to the bed and placed the bag onto it before turning to her dresser. She committed everything from the feeling of the plush carpet between her toes to the stinging in her eyes and the sound that the bed made every time he moved to her memory. She couldn't bare forgetting not one aspect of their relationship. Not even the final goodbye.

Before she could even pull the dresser drawer open, something caught her eye. It was a picture of them at a family get together. He had his arms wrapped around her and was whispering in her ear. Whatever he was saying she obviously found hilariously funny. She looked into the mirror and saw him standing behind her. She turned towards him and looked into his eyes. Just that one look put everything into perspective for him.

"I'm sorry." He said lowly.

"You're always-"

"I know." Silence filled the air again. She went to move past him but he stopped her. "I'm sorry, Nicki."

She didn't respond. She honestly didn't know how to. He had said sorry a million times but this one was different. It was almost like he was pleading with her to stay. She couldn't though. Not after everything they had been through. Not after everything that he had taken them through.

"I'll do anything to make us right. Don't leave."

"I can't stay here, Safaree."

"Why?"

"I just can't."

"You want to."

"Not like this." She shook her head and tears began to spill again. "I'm a good woman but all you do is try to break me down."

"Ni-"

"Let me finish." She said calmly as she wiped her tears. "I've never given you a reason not to trust me but you always accuse me of doing some fucked up shit. You don't love me like you used to. I can tell by how you kiss me and how you look at me. I hate coming home. Did you know that? I have so much hate for you," Her voice trembled. "and even though the love is stronger, I can't take it anymore."

"Did it ever occur to you that I don't know how to handle this shit?!" He yelled.

"Handle what?" She asked with an attitude.

"You! I never loved anybody how I love you."

"So, you treat me like shit?"

"I don't want to lose you." He finally admitted. "I accuse you of fucked up shit because this shit seem too good for a nigga. I kiss you different cause I want to see if you pay attention. I love you so much that it hurts. Do you not understand that I know you can do better than me and it fucks with me?!"

"Safaree-"

"If you want to leave, I understand. I'll help you pack." He turned to grab the duffle and she stopped him.

"All I ever wanted was the same things that you wanted. Sometimes I don't feel good enough for you but it makes me want to work ten times harder to be the woman you need. I need you to do the same. Do you think you can do that?"









So, I was listening to Here and Now by Luther Vandross when I got this idea. What yall know bout that old school? Lol. Anyway, this will not have a second part. This is really one of the first times when my stuff kind of lacks dialogue. I know some of you like that because its an easier read ( I do too) so I hope this isn't boring. I try to post as often as I can buuuut I'm really busy. Please understand that. Thanks for reading though! :*